What to Say When You Can’t Attend a Funeral

It’s not unusual for a person to miss a funeral, and funeral homes in Westbury, NY, typically prepare for this eventuality. If you can’t attend a funeral — and there are several valid reasons — there are several ways to communicate that to your friend or family member.

Some people do it via gestures like sending a card, flowers, or a plant. Here are some examples you can use for those who prefer to send a message alone or alongside a token.

1. I wish I could be there with you to say goodbye to Uncle James. Unfortunately, I’ve got the flu, and I don’t feel well enough to attend without becoming a burden. Please accept my sincerest apologies and condolences.
2. Sweet as these flowers may be, they do not make up for my unexpected absence, but I hope they go some way in making up for it. I hope you understand I wouldn’t miss it if circumstances weren’t out of my hands. I’m so sorry.
3. I hoped to give you these flowers in person and express how sorry I am for the loss of your dad. Sadly, I will no longer be able to attend due to my son’s illness. Mr. Charles was one of the sweetest people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. I will miss him.
4. Please accept my deepest apologies for not being able to attend the funeral. Do know that I wish I could make it, and my heart aches for you all. Sending love to you and the rest of the family, Francis.
5. My family and I cannot make the funeral. I wish we could. Your brother was a special person to me and a blessing to my family. Be assured that we will follow the online service and pay our respects.
6. If circumstances were different, I would be there with you today. But funerals remain a trigger for me, and I do not want you to end up taking care of me. I am sorry, and I hope you understand.
7. As much as I tried, I couldn’t get off work to attend your grandma’s funeral. I know how much you loved and cared for her. Please, I’d like to hear more about her when you can. I’ve sent you some flowers, and I hope they go some way in expressing how sorry I am.
8. This is so last minute, but is it alright if I miss the funeral? I really wish I could be there for support, but I can no longer make it. Please accept my apologies, and know I’m with you in spirit.
9. Ten minutes ago, I was on my way to the funeral, but work has asked me to come in. Sadly, with the circumstances, I can’t say no. I am sure it will be a beautiful service. I hope you forgive me.
10. Learning of meemaw’s death has broken me. I hope I don’t sound pathetic, but I am not in the best place to attend a public event right now. I am deeply sorry, and I hope you understand. She meant a lot. A whole lot.

Life happens, even to those with good intentions. If you find yourself unable to attend a funeral, be honest. Then be prepared to find a way to make up for it.

If it’s a funeral organized by a funeral home in Westbury, NY, consider asking if there’s an online option. It’s not the same as being there in person, but it is better than the alternative. For additional questions, call us or give us a visit.