Practical Tips on How to Offer Condolences

Sympathizing words of condolence are not always easy to find, but they go a long way in helping someone recover from this terrible event. If you need to offer your condolences at a Westbury, NY, funeral home, here’s how to do so respectfully and tactfully. 

Offer comfort and reassurance 

When someone loses a loved one, they are often left with many questions and feelings of uncertainty. When you visit someone who has recently lost a loved one, offer reassurance that everything will be alright. Let the person know you are there for them and willing to listen.  

Do something for the grieving person 

When someone loses a loved one, their life often changes drastically. Offer to do something for the grieving person. You can help with household chores, babysitting, cooking, or anything else that is needed. You can also ask if there is anything else you can do for the person’s family.  

Be prepared to listen 

Be prepared to listen to the grieving person and let them talk about the person who passed away. Let the grieving person talk about their loved one and the feelings surrounding the loss. Let them get everything out, and don’t rush them to move on. 

Keep it short and sweet 

When you visit or call the grieving person, keep your condolences short and sweet. Avoid saying things like, “He is in a better place” or “It was his time.”  

These clichés may be well-intentioned, but they don’t help a grieving person heal. Let the person know you are sorry for their loss and are there to support them. 

Also, be careful not to promise anything that you can’t keep. If someone offers to bring food to the grieving person, don’t say something like, “We will bring food tomorrow.” If you bring food the next day, great. But don’t promise something you aren’t sure you can do. 

What to avoid when offering condolences 

Here are some things you should avoid when offering condolences: 

Avoid giving advice. Do not try to advise on how the person should grieve or how they should get over the loss. Grieving is a personal process, and everyone deals with grief differently.  

Avoid platitudes. Do not use platitudes when offering condolences, such as “it’s for the best” or “this was God’s plan.” These statements will likely upset the grieving person and make them feel you don’t respect their feelings. 

Don’t wait too long before offering your condolences. If someone loses a loved one, they need support from their friends and family as soon as possible after the death occurs. Offer your condolences within 24 hours after learning about the death of someone close to a friend or family member. 

Don’t say “I know how you feel” or “I have been there before” unless you have been through a similar experience. No one else can know exactly how another person feels about a loss, and it can be hurtful for the grieving person to hear this type of statement. 

Avoid bringing up religious issues until they bring it up first or unless you know what their beliefs and feelings are about religion. 

The most important thing is to be there for them and listen to what they say. Don’t push your ideas on the grieving person because they need time to grieve in their own way. 

And if you want to help with funeral arrangements, we can take the burden off you. As a longtime Westbury, NY, funeral home, we recognize the emotional value of a beautiful funeral in processing grief. Contact us today to get started.